Decisions Decisions

So I am now back at work (finally) and I’m glad because it’s nice to have a paycheck again. What’s not nice is that business is so slow that my hours are getting cut. Same goes with my boyfriend too and it’s worse for him cause he gets minimum wage.

This gets me really considering going back into my old line (lines) of work because at least if we’re gonna get screwed- I’d at least like to get better paid for it.

This brings a lot of issues, am I doing this just for the money? Or is it for something else?

Now part of me says it’s cause I get to be my own boss again- control my hours, days off, who I conduct business with and depending on what job- the price.

I can obviously not stress enough on how lovely it would be to spend more time with my two wonderful kids, but I already do that now so… Am I really gaining anything? Then again it would be nice to have the holidays free to spend with my family and not have to rush to work after.

On the other hand, I do miss the attention. I mean, what women wouldn’t want all men fawning over her- regardless if she’s half naked or not. I do miss the attention I must say.
But let’s be honest, it’s kind of a selfish reason.

I’m still not sure and it’s kind of a moot point since the boyfriend is not on board with the idea (he’s warming up to it but still not there). So it’s not a major issue yet. But it’s still there.

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DANCING- Being Pregnant in the Club

So as I mentioned a while back in one of my posts- I am pregnant with my second child 🙂
A little girl this time to go with my little boy… so excited, for her arrival and for me to be DONE!!!! After all I am 35 weeks, whew- where has the time gone.

A few weeks ago, I ran into an old dancer friend of mine and her manager husband (who I used to work for) and she knew I was pregnant and conversation went normal- how are you, how is work, blah, blah, then came the one question I wasn’t expecting… Do you prefer being pregnant here (my current job) or the club? The answer for me was quite simple- the club.

I worked during my ENTIRE pregnancy and I did very well. Because I was an independent contractor, my manager did not have to worry about workman’s comp or anything of the sort in case I got hurt (I didn’t) and my work ethic was not an issue, since I still worked my normal schedule and my numbers never suffered. Plus I was cleared by my doctor- he said the activity was good for me as long as I was careful (and for the record, he DID know the nature of my work and faxed a note every month clearing me for work)

The nice thing was that I controlled my schedule so if there were times that I was tired or not feeling well, I could take the day off without any consequence. Also because of the nature of my work- I was sitting all the time, so it was super easy on my body, and because of the constant movement (lap dances are tough lol) I stayed very active so the pregnancy was very easy on my body.

Now my current job is extremely understanding and works so well with me and giving me breaks when necessary or when I call out it is ok, but I still worry.

I have to say though that the one thing I do miss the most is the money during my pregnancy, I still made decent money and I didn’t have to worry like I do right now about savings and budgeting.

During my pregnancy, I put customers into one of three categories:

The ones who just wouldn’t get a dance with a pregnant girl

  • Understandable, some guys are just like that- I spoke to a guy for a while and when we headed up to the counter to run his card he realized I was pregnant and he bailed- but not before he tipped me (five dollars…. bleh)

The ones who get a dance then decided its not their cup of tea

  • Personally I think that they either didn’t realize that I was pregnant (I mean I had a pretty awesome dress) or they knew and just wanted to try it and say they did it. Honestly I didn’t care either way… I still got paid.

Then there were the ones that just couldn’t get enough

  • My favorite was this one guy who did over an hour with me and half way through he asked me to take off my dress (I always kept it on just because I was self conscious) and continue the dance like nothing. I will never forget the look the floor walker gave me hehe.

 

So that’s my reminiscing on that… I’m pregnant and I miss the club… however I think it might be more the memories than the actual work (okay and the money too- like always) 

 

 

Escorts & Prostitutes

Why do I say it like that? Because I was not an escort, escorts in Vegas (a majority anyway) operate illegally and can get arrested. I was a legal prostitute registered in Nye county. Yes, one could argue that this is simply semantics but there’s still a difference- to me anyway.
I was reading an article about how brothels in Nevada are starting to suffer more because of the increase in illegal escorts in Vegas. Mostly because tourists don’t care don’t realize that prostitution is ILLEGAL in Clark County, which yes, includes Sin City.
This is hard to deal with because this obviously messes with our money (I say “our” money for sake of argument) it’s a matter of access and convenience, not to mention price.
According to this article, the number of brothels have gone down dramatically, but that still doesn’t put our minds at ease.
They say that hundreds of women are still employed and happily working, so I guess it’s not as bad, but still.
Why should the women who go through the legal channels suffer at the hands of the women who do this illegally? It’s not fair, but unfortunately is reality.

“Stripper” classes

So at my job, we sell these classes that ‘teach’ you how to be a ‘Stripper’. This is pretty much centered at teaching lap dance techniques and a little pole routine to women who are out celebrating whatever momentous occasion they have going on.

Honestly I think it’s kind of ironic that these women are going to a class to learn this stuff, when their SOs may possibly be getting the real thing at night (hehe).

But back on point- I HATE these classes. They started popping up a few years ago and then along with that clubs and bars starting putting up stripper poles… it’s frustrating and here’s why.

As a dancer (former or not), I hated hearing the following phrases:

  • ‘OMG, you look like a stripper/hooker’- cause they happen to be wearing a skimpy dress
  • ‘You’re dancing like a stripper’- stupid poles

I’ve always said/thought this

  • ‘No bitch, you’re a slut on a pole….’

I’m sorry, really I am, but until you take your clothes off for money or get paid for sex, you are neither a stripper or working girl.

These women want to play pretend for an hour or so to learn something for fun that we’ve based our livelihood on- it is kind of frustrating to get insulted for doing what we need to do to survive when they go pay money to do it for fun.

And disclaimer- YES, I know this sounds extremely petty and bitter on my part.

I loved my jobs, they were fun, lucrative, empowering for me and gave me a sense of self confidence that I can never duplicate. I can’t get mad at women for wanting to bring spince into (or back into) their relationships or even just to feel sexy and confident.

But what I think I can get upset about is when you have fun playing ‘stripper’, then go insult the girl who does it for a living.

And to close this out- this one is super stupid but it still irks me: their choice in ‘Stripper’ names. They’re just so stereotypical-especially cause I know that most of these names have never seen the club floor (unless it’s in movie). I mean I’ve had ten and they were pretty normal…

 

hehe, you didn’t think I’d tell you, did you? 😉

Choices and Morality

So I know it’s been a very VERY long time since I’ve written anything at all, so I know I do have a lot of catching up to do.

Now, where we last left off, I had just been published online and had started a new life- that’s pretty much been the same.

I am in a new steady relationship and have a new baby on the way, a little girl to go with my three year old son 🙂 In that sense, my life has moved somewhat fast in that regard and has therefore made things pretty hectic, but I must say that I love it.

But now onto the topic of today- morality vs money- so to speak.

I have been employed for almost the last year working part time, making a decent 12 dollars an hour working approximately 30 hours a week. And then in an effort to make more, I picked up another job making 9 dollars an hour also working 30 hours a week- I eventually left that job because my pregnancy did not make having two jobs easy.

Now to do some fun math, this meant that I worked 60 hours a week for about 2 grand a month. If we go down memory lane, I remember working half that and making twice as much- and that was just while working at my club, not including the House.

This has taken a toll on me and my personal life. I do not get to see my son as often and my boyfriend sees me mostly because he and I work together and he gives me rides (oh yeah- a year and a half of ‘honest work’ and still no car).

Now when I was working at the club, I worked from 10-6am about 5 days a week, my days off were Monday and Tuesday because those were slow for me. But then again because I controlled my schedule, I would change them based on the happenings going on in my life. The Ranch was a little bit different because those were 2-3 week chunks out of my life, but I had 2-3 weeks that were all mine with no work, and this still sufficiently paid all my bills with no stress.

It’s hard for me even 18 months later to swallow this pill, I don’t want to say that I’m bitter, but it’s pretty close. I have to say that it is out of love that I don’t go back, which makes this bearable, but it’s still hard.

At the end, it all comes down to this- am I really considered a morally better person because I work a regular job (or two jobs) where I don’t take off my clothes or lie on my back?

Honestly, I’m not sure how fair it really is, since I’m the same person I was back then, no matter what name I was using.

Then I get berated by my family because I don’t have a degree or a career with good pay. However, in my three years at the club I made as much as someone with a degree and half of that in the five months collectively that I worked at the Ranch. (But please don’t be jealous- I have nothing to show for it).

But at the end, my money- no matter how I made it, spent just the same. I just happened to have made it differently from most people and had a little bit more of it.

DANCING- Why I Never Made A Lot of Tips on Stage

So I got to thinking yesterday about my time as a dancer and it made me realize that I never really made a lot of money on stage.

Now I may have mentioned once in the past blog that I am a trained dancer. I also miss being on stage, so when I started dancing it only made sense for me to translate this on to the stage at my club, adding 6 inch heels and a well placed pole or two.

With that being said I never picked the usual music that you would hear in a strip club- unless that is I had choreography to it. In fact I once danced to a cover of Thriller/Off With Their Heads from Glee (FYI- it was awesome). So I always felt that I was a teeny bit awkward when I went on stage.

The most memorable moment I had was one shift I went on stage six times throughout 6-8 hours, on average- a dancer should make 5$ a set so 30$ that day. I made nothing… Now people assumed I was upset. I’ve seen girls throw fits when they get off stage or even go so far as yell at customers or flip them off if they are sitting at the stage- after all it’s basic strip club etiquette. So why wasn’t I upset? The answer in my opinion is quite simple.

When I make my music choices and choose to go on stage (since it is our choice) I do it for myself- not the customers.

I don’t shake/pop my ass unless it’s appropriate with the music
I don’t do “dollar tricks” for customers
And while to do try to be sexy and seductive, I usually end up just being happy and goofy.

I always felt like smiling when I was on stage because it made me happy. I love dancing, and people could always see it when I was on stage. It’s what would get me tips sometimes, cause I didn’t look miserable.

While I always liked this about my dancing experience, I have to say my proudest moment as a dancer was when I competed in a showgirl pageant my first few months- but that’s for another day

The Reason Why We “Hide”

So I know that I have been gone for a while (a long, LONG while) and I am working on fixing that. In fact, I have a bunch of new posts just waiting to get posted, but this one I had to jump the gun on this one and post it now.

 

So I recently read the news story about Miriam Weeks or Belle Knox, the Duke porn starlet who was outed by her fellow student and aside the obvious outrage for why she did what she did, or why she is still doing what she’s doing, there is one thing that really sticks out to me.

People go after her for her “hiding” behind her alter ego, especially now that she has been outed, or if she doesn’t really see a problem with what she is doing why did she change her name… blah blah blah, judge judge judge.

So I have had many different names over my time as a dancer and working girl- probably between five and ten different names, and I can tell you exactly why that is- because having your say over your own name is awesome 🙂

 

Ok, so maybe that’s not entirely it, but it’s part of it. I believe that I have said at least once or twice in my blog that I am not ashamed of what I have done. I don’t mind sharing my past with others and I am a firm believer in having people ask me a million questions than make one wrong assumption about me or my past professions. Now, when I do keep these to myself, it is out of respect for others, not out of shame for myself. I really could care less about what people think of me- I sleep at night very easily so I don’t care. HOWEVER, what I do care is this- how people see my parents.

Once Miriam Weeks was outed, everyone went after her parents next. Where were her parents, why didn’t they help her more, what did they do wrong, etc.

I have never been abused (physically, mentally or sexually) by anyone in my family.
I was given the best opportunities that was available to me by my parents.
Every good moral and value in me is because of my mom and dad.

And I will be damned if I will let my own personal actions and decisions ruin or taint everything good that they have ever done for me.

This is the reason I will never share my name or any identifying information, I refuse for someone to find out and then go after my parents. THAT, is something I will never let happen.

Honestly, I think that may be part of it, or maybe none of it, but for me? That is ALL OF IT.

And you know what? At the end of the day, we just want to go to the grocery store or a restaurant without being gawked at or bothered by people.

Don’t judge us just because we do what you do in the privacy of your home, except we do it for the public and for money.

 

Ok I’m getting off my soapbox now.

New & Returning Visitors

Since I started this blog back in July/August, then back again in December. I never thought that this would start getting traffic.

I started off relatively slow, and now, just in the last two days I have had over 50 views in 2 days (versus my 5-10). So I must say- thank you to everyone who has come to see my blog, and I hope that you are enjoying what I have to say about my time as a dancer, working girl and everything else I have to say 🙂

I promise to keep all the good stories coming as long as you’re interested!!

PS- Thanks to all who are already following, and if you’re not, then please do, I promise you won’t regret it and that I will keep you entertained.

PPS- Also thank you for the comments, please continue to do so, that way I can see what you would like to see on my blog. Also I don’t mind questions- I LOVE QUESTIONS!!!

DANCING- The Ending He Was Looking For (But I Wasn’t)

So I have to say that as a dancer, I always wanted to keep guys in the back as long as possible, after all it does mean more money.

However one night I had a customer and it was all normal (well as normal as a lap dance could be really) and after one song ended, I asked if he wanted to keep going… he said yes.

Now, some guys get really into a dance, like super into it, like this guy was starting to get. It actually seemed pointless to ask him if he wanted to keep going- it was obvious that he did. Then he just said out of nowhere ‘okay I think I’m good’, okay… and he paid me (5 songs plus tips) then we started to walk out and for some reason I took a look back and I noticed that he was in sort of a rush, then I realized why.

I looked down and saw his pants, and I saw that HE CAME!!! And that definitely was NOT on the menu (at least not at the club, hehe) so before we got to the exit, I stopped him and said very quietly, “you would like to tip me more, wouldn’t you?” and I looked down at his pants. Then he became embarrassed and draped in shamed proceeded to open his wallet and gave me some more money. We walked out and he took off like a bat out of hell, it was pretty funny.

For the record, I have hadmy fair share of guys ask if ‘they will come’ and quite honestly I hate to answer it (to actually answer it could be considered solicitation of a sexual act) but I have said this, ‘it’s not the intended goal, but it has been known to happen on occasion’.

It is walking a fine line in terms of legalities, but it’s what I say- I’m not lying or promising anything, because it has happened more than once.